Fun 302: Drinking Alcohol

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How To Enjoy Eating & Drinking

Alcohol is fun, but drink wisely

Drunkenness turns everyone into a complete idiot

  • Alcohol will inspire you to say and do things that permanently destroy relationships
  • Horrible things can happen to someone when they’re drunk
  • Alcohol is fun to drink, especially with drinking games or at a party
  • Never drive a car if you’ve had too much to drink
    • Get home and retrieve your car when you’re sober
    • AAA or Uber will pick up anyone for free and drive them home on New Year’s Eve

Drinking isn’t inherently evil

  • Many religions shun alcohol, but often focus on drunkenness more than drinking
  • Teenagers aren’t usually allowed to drink in many countries, but many of them still do

As long as you exercise moderation and avoid driving, alcohol has health benefits

  • Alcohol, especially certain types, can decrease risks for various diseases and ailments
  • Drinking alcohol helps stimulate creativity
  • Contrary to some opinions, alcohol doesn’t cause malnutrition or brain cell loss
    • Drinking gives the body the illusion of eating, which means
    • Brain cell loss comes from malnutrition and not alcohol

You can only learn your limits through trial and error

  1. Set aside 3-5 hours where others won’t disturb you
  2. Sit down with a hard liquor like whiskey and a shot glass
    • A shot is about the equivalent of a can of beer, so you can get a large pack of beers instead
  3. Have a drink every minute or two until the room starts spinning
    • The dizzy feeling is your body suffering a low-level toxin in your bloodstream
    • When you feel dizzy, you’ve reached your limit
  4. You can have another drink or two every hour as long as you keep within your limits
    • Males usually process two drinks each hour
    • Females usually process one drink each hour
  5. If you have more drinks than your limit, you risk a hangover
    • Hangovers are the body filtering out accumulated toxins from alcohol

Educate yourself on how to change your limits

You can develop a tolerance for alcohol

The higher the percentage alcohol content, the quicker you can get drunk from it

If you drink caffeine with alcohol, you’ll feel soberer and won’t gauging your true drunkenness

Mix alcohol with diet soda to become drunk more quickly

Avoid the misery from hangovers

  • Choosing liquor
    • Drink alcohol without carbonation
    • The more cogener, the more likely you’ll suffer a hangover
      • Expensive alcohol has less cogener than cheap alcohol
      • The heavier the bottle of wine, the better quality it is
      • Run cheap vodka through a water filter to make high-quality vodka
      • “Aerate” cheap wine by putting in a blender for thirty seconds
    • Darker alcohol generally causes worse hangovers
  • Before drinking
    • Be well-rested
    • Eat beforehand, especially bread products and vegetables
    • Eat a few tablespoons of yeast before heavy drinking
  • While drinking
    • Drink a glass of water or sports drink with every alcoholic drink
    • If you have the urge to vomit, take short rapid breaths
  • A hangover is a form of detox, so help your body cure from it more easily
    • Drink a banana milkshake, apple juice, cranberry juice, coconut water, cucumber water or tomato juice
    • Eat bacon, chocolate, French fries, honey on crackers, tomatoes or watermelon
    • Exercise
    • Take a multivitamin

If you’re with friends who drink and don’t want to, tell them you’re the designated driver

  • If you tell a bartender you’re the designated driver, they’ll often give you food or soda for free

You don’t need a corkscrew to open a bottle

  • Use a hammer and a screw
    • Hammer a screw into the bottle 3/4 of the way and pull out with a hammer
  • Use a shoelace and screwdriver
    1. Knot a shoelace on one end
    2. Stab the cork with a thin screwdriver all the way through
    3. Push the knot into the bottle with the screwdriver and pull the cork out
  • Use a bicycle pump
    • Stab a bike pump needle into the cork and pump with a bike pump until the cork pops off
  • Use a shoe and a flat surface
    • Put the base of the bottle inside a shoe
    • Hit against the surface until the cork pops off

You don’t need a bottle opener to open a beer

  • Many beer bottle caps twist off
  • Pry it open with a ring on your finger
  • Use a butter knife to bend the edges out of the side of the cap
  • Push extremely hard into the muscled part of your forearm and turn

Store alcohol in an airtight container since oxygen harms liquor

  • Make corks fit bottles by rolling the cork under the sole of a shoe or other flat surface with steady pressure
  • Store alcohol in a mason jar to keep it fresh

The lines on a Solo cup are measurement marks

  • The first line is an ounce for liquor
  • The second line is five ounces for wine
  • The third line is twelve ounces for beer

Every alcoholic drink revolves around a few drink bases

Absinthe – distilled botanical herbs that may include the absinthe plant, 90-148 proof

Beer – fermented malted grains flavored with hops

Cachaça – distilled sugarcane juice, Brazilian origin

Gin – fermented grain with herbs or malt and flavored with juniper berries

Moonshine – usually distilled corn mash, but varies and is known for being sold illegally

Rum – distilled sugarcane byproducts like molasses or sugarcane juice

Sake – fermented rice wine, Japanese origin

Tequila – fermented blue agave plant, 62-110 proof

Whiskey – fermented grain mash, usually 80-160 proof

  • Bourbon – a variation of whiskey typically confused with typical whiskey

Vodka – fermented potatoes or grain

Wine – fermented grapes or other fruit

  • Brandy – distilled wine, 70-120 proof
    • Cognac – brandy with specific requirements for preparation
  • Champagne – wine which ferments while in a bottle to create carbonation
  • Vermouth – aromatic wine flavored with botanical herbs

Learn alcohol terminology

Nouns for ordering

  • Chaser – drink that’s more palatable than straight liquor, such as beer
  • Cocktail – mixed drink with non-alcohol mixed in
  • Infusion – during the fermenting process a food item is put into the drink enough to pick up its flavor
  • Liqueur or Cordial – sweet spirit with things like seeds, nuts, spices, herbs, or flowers added
  • Mist – alcohol poured over crushed ice
  • Mixer – drink used to mix with another drink
  • Proof – 200 proof is pure alcohol, US measures by weight & UK by volume
  • Shooter – strong mixed drinks served in shot glasses, sometimes are cocktails
  • Shot – pure alcohol served in shot glasses
  • Sour – a cocktail of usually whiskey, sugar and lime or lemon juice
  • Toddy – liquor mixed with hot water and sometimes spices, seen as a remedy sometimes
  • Well drink – less expensive off-brand alcohol meant for mixing when no brand is specified

Adjectives for ordering

  • Dirty – martini that has had olive juice mixed into it
  • Dry/wet – refers to how much and what type of vermouth in a martini
  • Naked – served chilled without mixing
  • Neat – all by itself at room temperature without ice
  • Perfect – equal parts dry and sweet vermouth
  • On the rocks – with ice
  • Shaken – mixed in a shaker with ice
  • Stirred – placed in a shaker with ice and stirred, smoother than shaken
  • Straight up – pouring a chilled drink through ice in a strainer, cold without ice
  • Straight – can either mean “neat” or “straight up”
  • Virgin or Mocktail – without alcohol
  • With a tot – with a small amount of liquor
  • With a twist – thinly sliced peel twisted into a drink to add a light flavor

Follow several general guidelines for ordering a drink

  1. Have your order in mind before approaching the bar outside of asking the drink brands they have
  2. Make eye contact and smile with the bartender
    • Don’t wave money, snap fingers or yell to get their attention
  3. State the name of the brand or drink and not the alcohol itself (e.g., Jack Daniels instead of Jack Daniels Whiskey)
    • If you slip the bartender a $20 at the beginning of the night, you’ll get excellent service all night

Try mixing drinks

Goblet of Fire

  1. Mix an ounce of vodka, an ounce of blue curacao, three ounces of lemonade, and a splash of Bacardi 151
  2. Add a pinch of cinnamon
  3. Light it on fire

Holiday drink – freeze coffee into ice cubes and toss into a cup of Bailey’s mixed with vanilla vodka

Kool-Aid vodka

  1. Put three different Kool-Aid flavor ice cubes in Sprite
  2. Add 1-2 shots of vodka and the drink flavor will change as it melts

Liquor popsicles

  1. Fill cups with a preferred alcoholic drink
  2. Freeze for two hours
  3. Add a stick and a lime/lemon slice across the top
  4. Freeze for several more hours

Martini – one part dry vermouth with four or five parts gin

Mountain Dew’s original recipe was a mixer with whiskey

Skittle vodka – place one flavor of Skittles in vodka to create that flavor and color drink

Use lollipops to stir mix drinks to give them extra flavor

Make alcohol-based snacks

“Hard” fruit – Cut a hole in a fruit and pour in alcohol and the fruit will absorb the alcohol

“Hard” candy – mix vodka and candy in a container and let it sit for a day

Marshmallow liqueur – dip roasted marshmallows in Baileys

Portable Margarita – soak a watermelon in tequila, then dip it in coarse salt

Strawberry Margarita Jello Shots

  • Carve out the insides of strawberries
  • Mix Jello with tequila
  • Pour into strawberries and let harden
  • Roll strawberries in salt and attach a lime wedge
Next: Drinking Coffee