Fun 302: Drinking Alcohol

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How To Enjoy Eating & Drinking

Alcohol is fun, but drink wisely

  • Drunkenness turns everyone into a complete idiot
    • Alcohol will inspire you to say things and do things that can permanently destroy relationships
    • It’s very fun to drink, especially when playing drinking games or at a party
    • Some of the worst things that can happen to a person happen when they’re drunk
    • The last thing anyone drunk should do is operate heavy machinery, which includes driving a car
      • AAA or Uber will pick up anyone for free and drive them home on New Year’s Eve
  • Drinking is not evil
    • As long as you exercise moderation and stay away from heavy machinery, alcohol actually has health benefits
    • Though many religions shun it, closer inspection will show that it’s more connected to drunkenness than drinking, therefore making it like gluttony vs. food
    • Since high school is such a formative time, it’s a risky time to drink, but it shouldn’t be shunned simply because alcohol is inebriating
  • Contrary to some opinions, alcohol does not cause malnutrition or brain cell loss
    • Drinking gives the body the illusion of being fed, but a healthy diet will offset any negative health problems
    • Brain cell loss comes from malnutrition and not alcohol
  • There are some health benefits to alcohol
    • Drinking tequila decreases the risk for dementia
    • Drinking alcohol helps stimulate creativity
  • Everyone has their own limits, and you can only learn yours through trial and error
    1. Block off 3-5 hours where you won’t be disturbed
    2. Get a hard liquor like whiskey and sit down with a shot glass
      • Alternately get a large pack of beers, since a shot is about the same amount of alcohol as a beer
    3. Have a drink every minute or two until the room starts spinning
      • Feeling tipsy is a result of a low-level toxin that enters your blood stream
    4. That drink amount is your limit
      • Every hour, you can have another drink or 2, as long as you stay in the limit
        • Males generally can process 2 drinks an hour
        • Females can generally process 1 drink an hour
      • The more cogener, the more likely you’ll get a hangover
  • A tolerance for alcohol can be developed, but it’s a lot easier to stay well-informed
    • The higher the alcohol content percentage, the quicker it can make you drunk
    • The darker the liquor is the less likely you generally will get a hangover from it
    • Drinking caffeine with alcohol will make you more sober and have a harder time gauging your actual drunkenness
    • To get drunk more quickly
      • Mix alcohol with diet soda
    • To avoid hangovers
      • Choosing liquor
        • Drink alcohol without carbonation
        • Expensive alcohol has less cogener
          • The heavier the bottle of wine, the better quality it is
          • Run cheap vodka through a water filter to have high-quality vodka
          • “Aerate” cheap wine by putting in a blender for 30 seconds
        • Generally, the darker the alcohol the worse a hangover can be
      • Before drinking
        • Be well-rested
        • Eat beforehand, especially breads and vegetables
        • Eat a few tablespoons of yeast before heavy drinking
      • While drinking
        • Drink a glass of water or sports drink alongside every drink you have
        • If you have the urge to vomit, take short rapid breaths
    • A hangover is a form of detox, so help your body cure from it more easily
      • Drink a banana milkshake, apple juice, cranberry juice, coconut water, cucumber water or tomato juice
      • Eat bacon, chocolate, French fries, honey on crackers, tomatoes or watermelon
      • Exercise
      • Take a multivitamin
  • To avoid any alcohol mishaps, simply be the designated driver
    • If you tell the bartender you’re the designated driver, you’ll often get food or soda for free
  • You can save on alcohol by buying it at Costco, since they sell it even when you don’t have a club card
  • Opening a bottle doesn’t always need a corkscrew
    • Use a hammer and a screw
      • Hammer a screw into the bottle 3/4 of the way and pull out with hammer
    • Use a shoelace and screwdriver
      1. Knot a shoelace on one end
      2. Stab the cork with a thin screwdriver all the way through
      3. Push the knot into the bottle with the screwdriver and pull the cork out
    • Use a bicycle pump
      • Stab a bike pump needle into the cork and pump with a bike pump until the cork pops off
    • Use a shoe and a flat surface
      • Put the base of the bottle inside a shoe
      • Hit against the surface until the cork pops off
  • Opening a beer doesn’t always need a bottle opener
    • Use a butter knife to bend the edges out of the side of the cap
    • Push extremely hard into the muscled part of your forearm and turn
  • Make sure you store it in an airtight container, since oxygen will harm the quality of the liquor
    • Make corks fit bottles by rolling the cork under the sole of a shoe or other flat surface with steady pressure
    • Store it in a mason jar to guarantee it stays fresh
  • The lines on a Solo cup are actually measurement marks
    • The first line is 1 ounce for liquor
    • The second line is wine for 5 ounces
    • The third is 12 ounces for beer

There are only a few types of drink bases that every alcoholic drink revolves around

  • Absinthe – distilled botanical herbs that may include the absinthe plant, 90-148 proof
  • Beer – fermented malted grains flavored with hops
  • Cachaça – distilled sugarcane juice, Brazilian origin
  • Gin – fermented grain with herbs or malt and flavored with juniper berries
  • Moonshine – usually distilled corn mash, but varies and is known for being sold illegally
  • Rum – distilled sugarcane byproducts like molasses or sugarcane juice
  • Sake – fermented rice wine, Japanese origin
  • Tequila – fermented blue agave plant, 62-110 proof
  • Whiskey – fermented grain mash, usually 80-160 proof
    • Bourbon – variation of whiskey usually confused with normal whiskey
  • Vodka – fermented potatoes or grain
  • Wine – fermented grapes or other fruit
    • Brandy – distilled wine, 70-120 proof
      • Cognac – type of brandy with specific requirements
    • Champagne – type of wine that further ferments wine in a bottle to create carbonation
    • Vermouth – aromatized wine flavored with botanical herbs
      •  Martini – 1 part dry vermouth to 4-5 parts gin

It’s a lot easier to get involved in alcohol culture if you understand the terminology

  • Understand the nouns when ordering
    • Chaser – drink that’s more palatable than straight liquor, such as beer
    • Cocktail – mixed drink with alcohol and non-alcohol mixed together
    • Infusion – during fermenting process a food item is put into the drink enough to pick up its flavor
    • Liquer/Cordial – sweet spirit with seeds, nuts, spices, herbs, flowers, etc. added
    • Mist – alcohol poured over crushed ice
    • Mixer – drink used to mix with another drink
    • Proof – 200 proof is pure alcohol, US measures by weight & UK by volume
    • Shooter – strong mixed drinks served in shot glasses, sometimes are cocktails
    • Shot – pure alcohol served in shot glasses
    • Sour – cocktail of usually whiskey, sugar and lime or lemon juice
    • Toddy – liquor mixed with hot water and sometimes spices, seen as a remedy sometimes
    • Well drink – less expensive off-brand alcohol meant for mixing when no brand is specified
  • Understand the adjectives when ordering
    • Dirty – martini that has had olive juice mixed into it
    • Dry/wet – refers to how much and what type of vermouth in a martini
    • Naked – served chilled without mixing
    • Neat – all by itself at room temperature without ice
    • Perfect – equal parts dry and sweet vermouth
    • On the rocks – with ice
    • Shaken – mixed in a shaker with ice
    • Stirred – placed in a shaker with ice and stirred, smoother than shaken
    • Straight up – pouring a chilled drink through ice in a strainer, cold without ice
    • Straight – can either mean “neat” or “straight up”
    • Virgin/Mocktail – without alcohol
    • With a tot – with a small amount of liquor
    • With a twist – thinly sliced peel twisted into a drink to add a light flavor
  • Follow a few general guidelines when ordering a drink
    1. Have the order in mind before approaching the bar, excepting inquiring about the brands of drink available
    2. Establish eye contact and smile with the bartender
      • don’t wave money, snap fingers or yell to get their attention
    3. When ordering, state the name of the brand or drink, and not the drink itself (e.g. Jack Daniels instead of Jack Daniels Whiskey)
      • If you slip the bartender a $20 at the beginning of the night, you’ll get great service all night

Try mixing drinks yourself

  • Goblet of Fire
    1. Mix 1 ounce vodka, 1 ounce blue curacao, 3 ounces of lemonade and a splash of Bacardi 151
    2. Add a pinch of cinnamon
    3. Light it on fire
  • Holiday drink – freeze coffee into ice cubes and toss into a cup of Baileys mixed with vanilla vodka
  • Kool-Aid vodka
    1. Put 3 different flavors of Kool-Aid ice cubes in Sprite
    2. Add 1-2 shots of vodka, the flavor of the drink will change as it melts
  • Liquor popsicles
    1. Fill cups with a preferred alcoholic drink
    2. Freeze for 2 hours
    3. Add a stick and a lime/lemon slice across the top
    4. freeze fully for several more hours
  • Mountain Dew was originally made to be mixed with whiskey
  • Skittle vodka – place one flavor of Skittles in vodka to create that flavor and color drink
  • Use lollipops to stir mix drinks to give them extra flavor

Make alcohol-based snacks as well

  • “Hard” fruit – Cut a hole in a fruit and pour in alcohol and the fruit will absorb the alcohol
  • “Hard” candy – mix vodka and candy in a container and let it sit for a day
  • Marshmallow liqueur – dip roasted marshmallows in Baileys
  • Portable Margarita – soak a watermelon in tequila, then dip it in coarse salt
  • Strawberry Margarita Jello shots
    • Carve out the insides of strawberries
    • Mix Jello with tequila
    • Pour into strawberries and let harden
    • Roll strawberries in salt and attach lime wedge
Next: Drinking Coffee