Acronyms Of Automobiles

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ACURA: All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
ACURA: Always Crumbling Under Real Acceleration
ACURA: Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
ACURA: Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
ACURA: Automobile Causes Unusual Road Accidents
ACURA: Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile

AMC: A Major Cost
AMC: Ain’t My Car
AMC: All Makes Combined
AMC: Another Major Catastrophe

AUDI: All Unsafe Designs Implemented
AUDI: Another Ugly Duetsche Invention

BEETLE: Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
BEETLE: By Everyone’s Experience, They Last Eternally

BMW: Barely Moving Wreck
BMW: Bastard Money Wielders
BMW: Behold My Wealth
BMW: Big Money Waster
BMW: Blasted Motorized Wreck
BMW: Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW: Break My Wallet
BMW: Break My Windows
BMW: Brings Me Women
BMW: Broke My Wallet
BMW: Brutal Money Waster

BUICK: Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
BUICK: Built Under Inspection of Crazy Korean

CADILLAC: Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed
CADILLAC: Crap Ass Deville Is Lacking Life And Clutch
CADILLAC: Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars

CAMARO: Can’t America Make A Real One

CAPRI: Can Any Person Repair It

CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET: Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
CHEVROLET: Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET: Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

CHRYSLER: Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
CHRYSLER: Causes Healthy Rich Yuppies Serious Loans, Even Repossession
CHRYSLER: Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative’s

DODGE: Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
DODGE: Dead On Delivery Gutless Engine
DODGE: Drips Oil Drops, Grease Everywhere

EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks

FERRARI: From Extra Rusty Rubbish And Rude Italians

FIAT: Failed In A Tunnel
FIAT: Failure In Automotive Technology
FIAT: Foolish Italians Attempt Transportation

FORD: Fails On Rainy Days
FORD: Fast Only Rolling Downhill
FORD: Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
FORD: First On Recall Day
FORD: Fixed Or Repaired Daily
FORD: Flip Over, Read Directions
FORD: Forced On Reluctant Drivers
FORD: Fork Over Repair Dough
FORD: Found On Redneck’s Driveway
FORD: Fried On Race Day

GM: General Maintenance
GM: Gleans Money
GM: Government Motors

GMC: Garage Mans Companion
GMC: Gay Man’s Chevy
GMC: Generic Made Chevy

GTO: Get Tools Out
GTO: Gets There Occasionally

HONDA: Had One, Never Did Again
HONDA: Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing’s Driveable And Inexpensive

IROC: I Run Over Children

JEEP: Just Eats Every Part
JEEP: Just Empty Every Pocket
JEEP: Just Enough Engine Power

KIA: Killed in Action
KIA: Kills In Accidents

LOTUS: Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious

MERCEDES: Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans

MERCURY: Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
MERCURY: Mileage Eventually Ruins Car – Usually Ruins You

MITSUBISHI: Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete

MOPAR: Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
MOPAR: Mostly Old Parts And Rust
MOPAR: Move Over People Are Racing
MOPAR: My Only Problems Are Repairs

MUSTANG: Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go

NAPA: Never Any Parts Available

NISSAN: Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon
NISSAN: Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now
NISSAN: Never In Sync, Screeching Awful Noises

OLDSMOBILE: Old Ladies Driving Slow, Making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
OLDSMOBILE: Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO: Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PINTO: Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants
PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often
PINTO: Put In Nickel To Operate

PLYMOUTH: Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC: People On Narcotics Think It’s A Chevy
PONTIAC: Plenty Of Noises That Irritate And Clank
PONTIAC: Poor Old Nebraskan Thinks It’s A Cadillac
PONTIAC: Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities

PORSCHE: Phased Out Racer, Still Can’t Hold Engine
PORSCHE: Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense
PORSCHE: Piece Of Rubbish, Saps Continually High Expense
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
PORSCHE: Puts Out Really Smokey Carbonate Hazardous Emissions

RENAULT: Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash

SAAB: Sad Attempt At Beauty
SAAB: Send Another Automobile Back
SAAB: Sorry Auto, Always Broken
SAAB: Swedish Automobiles Always Break

SATURN: Sounds Absolutely Terrible, Unbelievable Rattling Noises

SCION: See? Cranking Is Only Necessary

SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
SUBARU: Still Usable But All Rusty Underneath

TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice The Automobile
TOYOTA: The One You Ought To Avoid
TOYOTA: Too Often Yanks Overprice This Auto

TRIUMPH: The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
TRIUMPH: Trembling Ride, Intrusive Undercarriage, Meekly Powered Hotrod

VOLKSWAGEN: Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense
VOLKSWAGEN: Very Old Lineage Kills Space Wasting, Also Gay Engine Noise

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VOLVO: Very Old Ladies’ Vehicle Only

VW: Very Wimpy
VW: Virtually Worthless