Philosophy Explained

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Heraclitus: You can eat the same donut twice

Plato: All donuts share in ideal “donut-ness”

Aristotle: A donut contains its donut-ness

Augustine: Donuts need grace to be fully donut

Descartes: A donut’s hole proves the existence of the donut

Locke: Donuts taste good to me

Hume: Donuts exist because I imagine donuts

Kant: A “donut” = my total experience of donuts

Wollstonecraft: Women deserve donuts, too

Mill: Donuts are good if they make people happy

Kierkegaard: I have faith that donuts are delicious

Marx: Everybody deserves donuts

Nietzsche: Stop at nothing to get your donut

Saussure: Beignet/Krapfen/Ciambella/Bunnelo = “Donut”

Wittgenstein: Fried pastry, zero, parking lot spin, spare time

Beauvoir: Patriarchy is responsible for the shape of the donut