Miscellaneous Philosophy Jokes

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Dean, to the physics department:

“Why do I always have to give you guys so much money for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn’t you be like the math department – all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper.”


Seen on a restroom wall:

“God is dead: Nietzsche. Nietzsche is dead: God.”


The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong.


What is Mind? No Matter.

What is Body? Never Mind.