Sniglets

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A sniglet is a word that should be in the dictionary but isn’t.
Sniglets are the brainchild of comedian Rich Hall who, with a little help from his friends, wrote a series of books containing sniglets in the mid-eighties. While Rich Hall invented the word “sniglet” itself, sniglets are actually a long-running popular joke in which people make up their own humorous words to define things or concepts that have no “official” definitions.

  • 110 At The Equator – Any burning sensation experienced directly below the navel when putting on a pair of jeans straight from the dryer.
  • Abdicate – The act of giving up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
  • Accordionated – Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
  • Aeroma – The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.
  • Aeropalmics – The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.
  • Agonosis – The syndrome of tuning into “Wide World of Sports” every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.
  • Airdirt – A hanging plant that’s been ignored for three weeks or more.
  • Anticiparcellate – Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not too appear too anxious.
  • Apostraphy – The phenomenon of losing supporters in an Internet argument due to the inability to express oneself with proper grammar, orthography and punctuation.
  • Aquadextrous – Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
  • Aqualibrium – The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from having to suck the nozzle or squirting himself in the eye.
  • Arachnidiot – A person, who, having wandered into an “invisible” spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.
  • Askhole – A person who constantly asks for advice, yet always does the opposite of what they heard
  • Assmosis – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
  • Attrinyl – (chemical symbol: At) A black, bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used primarily in covers of pay phone directories.
  • B+ Stampede – The attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it.
  • Backspackle – Markings on the back of one’s shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle.
  • Baldage – The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.
  • Balderdash – A rapidly receding hairline.
  • Bargue – To argue while intoxicated in a social venue.
  • Bazookacidal Tendencies – The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the gigantic gum bubble billowing from someone’s mouth.
  • Beavo – A pencil with teeth marks all over it.
  • Begathon – A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won’t have to watch commercials.
  • Bixplex – Psychological block in which a person cannot choose which color of disposable lighter to purchase.
  • Bleakfast – The first meal of the day consisting of cold leftovers from the night before.
  • Blooage – The residue left on fingers after using an S.O.S pad.
  • Blossor – The hair style one has after removing a baseball cap.
  • Blurfle – To be caught talking at the top of one’s lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.
  • Bovilexia – The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell “Moo!” every time you pass a cow.
  • Bowlikinetics – The act of trying to control a released bowling ball by twisting one’s body in the direction one wants it to go.
  • Bozone – The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
  • Brattled – The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you.
  • Bugpedal – To accelerate or decelerate rapidly in an attempt to remove a clinging insect from a car’s windshield.
  • Bumperglints – The small reflective obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which supposedly keep drivers awake and on track.
  • Burgacide – What you call the desperate action of a hamburger leaping to its death through the holes in the Bar-B-Q grill.
  • Bursploot – To position one’s thumb at the end of a garden hose to increase the pressure.
  • Bustard – A rude bus driver.
  • Cabnicreep – The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
  • Caffidget – To break up a Styrofoam coffee cup into several hundred pieces after consuming its contents.
  • Camoufanning – To turn on a bathroom fan to muffle pooping noises.
  • Carbonicles – The tiny drops of soda thrown into the air above a glass
  • after it’s poured.
  • Carcreak – The crackling, tinkling, creaky noises a car makes after it is parked and turned off.
  • Careena – Any mangled or missing piece of highway guard rail.
  • Caterpallor – The color a person turns after finding half a grub in the fruit they’re eating.
  • Chalktrauma – The body’s reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard.
  • Charp – The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag.
  • Cheedle – The residue left on one’s fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos.
  • Chiclexodus – The act of a gumball falling from a gumball machine after a coin is inserted and the knob is turned onto the floor when one forgets to place their hand under the little door.
  • Chipfault – The stress point on a potato chip where it breaks off and stays behind in the dip.
  • Choconiverous – Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
  • Chwads – The small, disgusting wads of chewed gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops.
  • Cinemuck – The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.
  • Cleanundrum – The act of cleaning up a room or closet and then not being able to find something that you knew where it was before you decided to clean.
  • Coffee – A person who is coughed upon.
  • Combiloops – The two or three unsuccessful passes before finally opening a combination locker.
  • Cranial Stomp – A somewhat primitive dance performed by youngsters trying to step on the heads of their shadows.
  • Crummox – The amount of cereal leftover in the box that is too little to eat and too much to throw away.
  • Cushup – To sit down on a couch somehow causing the cushion next to you to rise.
  • Decaflon – The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  • Denial – The first step is admitting that there are no problems.
  • Deodorend – The last 1/2 inch of stick deodorant that won’t turn up out of the tube, and thus cannot be used without inducing lacerations.
  • Digitritus – Deposits found between the links of a watchband.
  • Dillrelict – The last pickle in the jar that avoids all attempts to be captured.
  • Dipwavers – People who raise their hands when riding on roller coasters.
  • Doork – A person who always pushes on a door marked “pull” or vice versa.
  • Dopeler Effect – The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at somone rapidly.
  • Droot – A Dorito with an unnatural fold in it.
  • Eiffelites – Gangly people sitting in front of someone else at the movies who, no matter what direction they lean in, follow suit.
  • Elbonics – The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
  • Ellacelleration – The mistaken belief that repeatedly pressing the elevator button will make it go faster.
  • Eleventurer – A person who articulates the details of their life deemed to be superior to what was brought up in a conversation.
  • Elmerdermis – The white sheath that surrounds the nozzle of a glue dispenser.
  • Erdu – The leftover accumulation of rubber particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper.
  • Esplanade – To attempt an explanation while drunk.
  • Eufirstics – Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.
  • Exaspirin – Any bottle of pain reliever with an impossible-to-remove cotton wad at the top.
  • Execuglide – To propel oneself about an office without getting up from the chair.
  • Facon – The fake bacon bits served at cheap salad bars.
  • Factoidiot – 1. A person who quotes a movie or TV show they have never seen. 2. A person who repeats a bit of trivia and knows nothing else about the subject.
  • Fenderberg – The large glacial deposits that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms.
  • Ferroles – The holes in the bottom of a steam iron.
  • Fetchplex – A state of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball and palmed it behind his back.
  • Fictate – To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.
  • Flabbergasted – Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
  • Flarpswitch – The one light switch in every house with no function whatsoever.
  • Flashlight – A case for holding dead batteries.
  • Flatulence – An emergency vehicle that picks you up if you’ve been run over by a steamroller.
  • Flopcorn – The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.
  • Flosstitution – Using anything other than the waxed string product to clean teeth.
  • Flotion – The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time another person moves.
  • Flurrant – The one leaf that always clings to the end of the rake.
  • Foreploy – Any self-misrepresentation for the purpose of obtaining sex.
  • Frankfluid – The liquid at the bottom of hot dog packages.
  • Friendstipation – The inability to poop from knowing someone might hear.
  • Frust – The line of dust that accumulates when sweeping dust into a dust pan and frustratingly backs up because it can never get into the pan.
  • Furterus Zone – The empty stretches of bun on either end of a hot dog.
  • Gargoyle – An olive flavoured mouthwash.
  • Gasterval – The period between when a relationship starts and the first time one of the partners openly farts in front of the other.
  • Genderplex – The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom.
  • Giraffiti – Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  • Glackett – The noisy ball inside a spray-paint can.
  • Gladhandling – To attempt, with frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a plastic sandwich or trash bag.
  • Glassable – anything that a parent tells a child not to go near because it can be broken, especially something made of glass.
  • Glibido – All talk and no action.
  • Gozinta – Mathematical symbol for division; also the sound uttered when dividing out loud.
  • Grantnap – The extra five minutes of sleep you allow yourself that somehow makes all the difference in the world.
  • Greatsgusting – A food that is disgusting but tasted amazing.
  • Gription – The sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor during basketball games.
  • Hangle – A cluster of coat hangers.
  • Hydralation – Acclimating oneself to a cold swimming pool by bodily regions.
  • Icision – Delicate operation performed on Neapolitan-flavored ice cream in which one entire flavor is precisely and systematically removed.
  • Idiolocator – The symbol on a mall or amusement park map saying “You Are Here”.
  • Idiot Box – The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can’t quite figure it out for themselves.
  • Ignoranus – A person who’s both stupid and a jerk.
  • Inkslick – A greasy spot on a piece of stationery or test paper.
  • Intaxication – Euphoria at getting a tax refund which lasts until realizing it was money that was already earned.
  • Intelliduh – Stupid actions or words by an otherwise intelligent person.
  • Interawktion – A moment where two acquaintances share an uncomfortable silence from one of them sharing something overly odd or personal.
  • Irritainment – Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but hard to stop watching.
  • JB point – The point at which the parent of a child within the midst of a pediquerey is pushed to shout “Just because!” or “Because God made it that way!”
  • Jiffylust – The inability to be the first person to carve into a brand-new jar of peanut butter.
  • Jukejitters – Fear that everyone thinks that you picked the awful tune emanating from the jukebox when it was actually the person before you.
  • Kawashock – Pulling into the last remaining parking spot only to discover a motorcycle there.
  • Keyfruit – The one apple, pear, or tomato in the stand that, when removed, causes all the others to tumble forward.
  • Lactease – To place any size container of milk back in a refrigerator with very little left at the bottom.
  • Liechiatrist – An unqualified person who diagnoses themselves with a mental illness they don’t actually have for the sole purpose of using it as an easy excuse for irresponsible behavior.
  • Lodgecombing – Final reconnaissance before vacating a motel room.
  • Loggium – Water that drips from one’s nose hours after swimming.
  • Lymph – To walk with a lisp.
  • Magnocartic – Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
  • Malamorous – A villain’s appeal to fans despite being the antagonist of the work, often from being handsome or justifiably motivated.
  • Malibugaloo – A dance that affects barefoot beachgoers on hot summer days.
  • Manillium – The lifespan of the clasp on a manila envelope before it breaks off and dies.
  • Maypop – A bald tire.
  • McRibocrite – A person who complains about how disgusting fast food is but eats it anyway.
  • Methylphobia – The fear of paying for the one cent over-pumped at the self-service station.
  • Microtrek – Any nervous trip to the microwave oven to make sure the food hasn’t incinerated.
  • Mittsquinter – A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball as if the cause of the error lies there.
  • Musquirt – The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.
  • Mustgo – Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long it has become a science project.
  • Napression Marks – Those indentation lines on your face created by your bedding when you when you wake up.
  • Negligent – Describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
  • Necroliker – A person who likes a post on Facebook about the loss of a loved one.
  • Nerb – a noun used as a verb, or the act of using nouns as verbs in a sentence.
  • Netsec – A unit of time used in indicating work time lost due to reading Internet jokes.
  • Ninjestrians – People dressed in dark clothing walking along unlit roads at night.
  • Nocturnuggets – Deposits found in one’s eye upon awakening in the morning.
  • Oopzama – Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person someone was waving at isn’t who they thought it was.
  • Optortionist – The kid in school who can turn his eyelids inside out.
  • Oreosis – The practice of eating the cream center of an Oreo before eating the cookie outsides.
  • Oyster – A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
  • P-spot – The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion.
  • Pajangle – Condition of waking up with your pajamas turned 180 degrees.
  • Pedexpression – The helpless look on the face of one’s pet that is being played with by rowdy children.
  • Penciventilation – The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it.
  • Permapression – The discovery that there is no real difference in the various cycles of a washing machine.
  • Petonic – One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
  • Petribar – Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending machine too long.
  • Petrool – The slow, seemingly endless strand of motor oil at the end of the can.
  • Phonesia – The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting who is being called just as they answer.
  • Phosflink – To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out.
  • Photoyokel – A person who presses the wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle.
  • Pielibrium – The point at which the crust on a wedge of pie outweighs the filling and tips it over.
  • Piepushers – Attendants at fast-food restaurants who try, no matter what is ordered, to unload apple or cherry turnovers on you.
  • PIYAN – An acronym: “Plus If You Act Now”. Any miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad.
  • Prema-cheerio/Toodle-oops – The uncomfortable silence shared by two people after they’ve said good-bye to each other and continue to walk together out of necessity.
  • Premail – Mail that is placed behind the visor in the car and left for several months before it is finally sent.
  • Prestofrigeration – The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.
  • Pretzaline – The salt deposit at the bottom of a bag of pretzels.
  • Primpo – A person who passes a mirror then has to step back, presumably to reassure himself he still exists.
  • Puntificate – To try to predict in what direction a football will bounce.
  • Queery – A question to ascertain one’s sexual orientation.
  • Qui-Goner – A character in a story that the audience knew was going to die from the very beginning.
  • Rectitude – The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before his examination.
  • Reled – To reset all the digital clocks in the household following a power failure.
  • Retrocarbonic – Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup.
  • Rignition – The embarrassing action of trying to start one’s car with the engine already running.
  • Rovalert – The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.
  • Sarchasm – The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn’t get it.
  • Sark – The marks left on one’s ankle after wearing tube socks all day.
  • Scribblics – Warm-up exercises designed to get the ink in a pen flowing.
  • Scribline – The blank area on the back of credit cards where one’s signature goes.
  • Semantics – Pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood.
  • Shinbone – a device for finding furniture.
  • Shocklet – The seldom-used third hole on an electrical outlet.
  • Shoefly – The aeronautical terminology for a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe instead.
  • Sirlines – The lines on a grilled steak.
  • SITCOM – Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
  • Slackjam – The condition of being trapped in one’s own trousers while trying to pull them on without first removing shoes.
  • Slopweaver – Someone who has mastered the art of repositioning the food on his plate to give the appearance of having consumed a good portion of it.
  • Slottery and Vendication – A public misdemeanor in which a person gambles on a vending machine, loses, and tries to exact revenge by kicking it.
  • Soapbombing – To deliberately steer all conversations towards one particular issue in order to express it strongly.
  • Somnambapologist – Person too polite to admit he was sleeping even when awakened at three in the morning.
  • Sortamatopoeia – Word describing an item that does not make a sound, but would sound like it if it did (e.g. bling, slink, glisten).
  • Spirobits – The frayed bits of left-behind paper in a spiral notebook.
  • Spirtle – The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.
  • Sprout Lines – Visible lines at the bottom of trouser legs where the hems have been let down.
  • Spudrubble – Unclaimed french fries at the bottom of a fast food bag.
  • Squaffles – The individual squares comprising a waffle.
  • Squanderprint – Directions that try to make you use up a product faster than you normally would.
  • Squatic Diversion – Any pretended activity that commands a dog owner’s attention while the dog relieves itself on a neighbor’s lawn.
  • Starter Marriage – A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
  • Subnougate – To eat the bottom caramels in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping no one will notice.
  • Table Snorkeling – Frantic gesticulations when one bites into hot food and has to take in air to cool it off.
  • Telecrastination – The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before picking it up, even when you’re only six inches away.
  • Telletiquette – The polite distance kept by one person behind another at an automatic teller machine.
  • Testicle – A humorous question on an exam.
  • Thrickle – The itch in the back of the throat which can’t be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises.
  • Tidnab – The opposite of a bandit; one who surreptitiously leaves items, such as a neighbor who leaves some of his bumper crop of summer squash on your doorstep.
  • Traficulous – the condition that exists while driving when trying to pull out through an intersection where it is clear to the right but not to the left, then is clear to the left but not the right, repeated indefinitely.
  • Uclipse – The dangerous arc into another lane made by drivers just before executing a turn.
  • Umbrace – The small strap that holds an umbrella in place.
  • Vegiludes – Individual peas or kernels of corn that end up being chased all over a plate with a fork.
  • Viewgling – Intentional search of plot points on the Internet to avoid having to waste time on reading or seeing something.
  • Voitlock – When a basketball gets lodged between a rim and a backboard.
  • Wikinius – A person who has only read the Wikipedia entry on a subject but claims to be an expert on it.
  • Willy-nilly – Impotent.
  • Woowad – Giant clumps of stuck-together rice served at Chinese restaurants.
  • Yammertia – The resistance of a tiresome, one-sided conversation to change in its state of motion.
  • Yardribbons – The unmowed patches of grass discovered after one has put away the mower.
  • Yotate – To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.
  • Yuppie Food Stamps – The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere, often used when trying to split the bill after a meal.
  • Zeept – The accumulation of dead insects around an electric bug fryer.
  • Zeitgaffe – A cultural reference that is sufficiently inaccurate or outdated to demonstate that the speaker is either no longer in touch with or separate from the mainstream group.
  • Zipcuffed – To be trapped in one’s trousers by a faulty zipper.