What You Don’t Want To Hear From Your Realtor When Going Into Settlement

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  • “I think unexplained crop circles add a unique flair to any home’s garden.”
  • “Actually, it’s only the rear portion of the yard that overlaps the ancient Indian burial ground.”
  • “Yes, the last owner did donate the house to the Hell’s Angels, but I’m told that the judge has ordered them not to come within 50 feet of it.”
  • “One howling toilet doesn’t necessarily mean it’s haunted.”
  • “Your neighbor has assured me that, technically, they’re not ‘killer’ bees.”
  • “Even if there was a full-scale mudslide, it’s unlikely that it would reach as far back as your property.”
  • “It’s quite common for roaches to grow that big, even when not in the presence of radio activity.”
  • “You’re so lucky! Did you know that the band “Grave Robbers” holds their practice sessions right next door?”
  • “It’s true that they died in the house, but the Prosecutor was never actually able to prove it was murder.”
  • “You can barely hear the sheet metal factory at night.”