Words Men & Women Use

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  • Words Men Use:
    1. It’s a guy thing: There is no rational thought pattern any woman would be able to put together. It is there unexplainably.
    2. Uh-huh, Sure Honey, or Yes Dear: It means absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.
    3. It would take too long to explain: It will take too long to explain or the man has no idea about how it works.
    4. I was listening to you. It’s just that I have things on my mind: It is one of the defense mechanisms used to prevent a “Why Don’t You Listen To Me” argument.
    5. Take a break, honey. You’re working too hard: Stop working so hard. That’s a command, not a suggestion.
    6. That’s interesting, dear: Another conditioned response.
    7. You know how bad my memory is: This is to save face after forgetting one of the many things a man might forget, such as birthdays, anniversaries…birthdays…
    8. I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses: The man did something wrong, wants something, or is looking to maintain the happiness level between you and him.
    9. Oh, don’t fuss. I just cut myself. It’s no big deal: He might have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting that he’s hurt to you.
    10. I can’t find it: It didn’t fall into his outstretched hands, so he doesn’t know where it is.
    11. I heard you: He hasn’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and is hoping desperately that he can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at him.
    12. You look terrific: You look terrific. Stop trying on more clothing combinations.
    13. I’m not lost. I know exactly where we are: He refuses to take a blow to his pride because he got lost.
  • Words Women Use:
    1. Fine:  This word is used to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
    2. Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before being asked to help around the house.
    3. Nothing:  This is the calm before the storm.  This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with Nothing usually end in Fine. (Refer to #1 for the meaning of Fine.)
    4. Go Ahead:  This is a dare, not a permission. Don’t do it!
    5. Loud Sigh:  This isn’t actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A Loud Sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer to #3 for the meaning of Nothing.)
    6. That’s Okay:  This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
    7. Good: Not good, and she’s usually angry
    8. Thanks:  A woman is thanking you. Do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. This is true, unless she is saying “thanks a lot.” That is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome”. That will bring on a Whatever.
    9. I see: She doesn’t believe you
    10. Whatever:  Is a women’s way of saying F@!K YOU!
    11. Don’t worry about it, I got it:  Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “what’s wrong”, for the woman’s response to be nothing. (Refer to # 3 for the meaning of Nothing.)
    12. Wow!: This is not a compliment. She’s amazed at a man’s stupidity.
    13. Never Mind: You clearly can’t understand
    14. No: Yes
    15. Yes: Maybe
    16. Maybe: No