Homes 201: Relationships

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Homes 102: When Moving

If you want a romantic relationship, you need to be ready for one with a healthy lifestyle

  • You should be aware of yourself and the world around you, since you will be very intimate with another person’s self-awareness
  • You should have a general state of happiness that doesn’t need a partner, since general unhappiness will drag anyone else down
    • Relationships don’t make people happy, they just add to whatever happiness was there
    • An extremely happy person with an unhappy person will result in a very unhappy relationship
  • You need to know how to handle money if you intend to date anyone or spend the rest of your life with them
  • Most physical attractiveness is tied directly to actual health
  • Outside of being good-looking, you can only be attractive to a good mate if you’ve proven yourself somewhat successful
  • Before you start dating, you need friends to bounce ideas off of and compare/contrast your date
  • You will need to lead yourself before you can date anyone
  • You should know how to take care of your own house
  • You need to have all of your relationship needs met outside of a dating context
    • It’s much harder to exercise good boundaries if you’re miserable
    • You can be lonely, but you shouldn’t feel a need to be in a relationship to be happy
    • If your life doesn’t feel full without a mate, then you’re more likely to make desperate and reckless decisions

A relationship is worth it, but only with the right person

  • There are many things to watch for when picking the right mate
    • Each person is different, and they need to be respected in who they are more than what they could be
    • Though you shouldn’t be exactly the same, your attributes should naturally complement theirs
    • There is actually no correlation between any compatibility tests and happiness
      • It’s good to have criteria, but you should focus most on what matters to you
      • There is no effective way to prepare for a relationship, since everyone is uniquely different and has their own unique attributes
  • Take the following test for yourself and each potential partner you meet
    • Look at emotional temperament
      • How do you/they see themselves?
      • Are there any clear addictions?
      • How happy are you/they about the present and the future?
      • How much emotional energy do you/they have?
      • How likely are you/they likely to blame others for problems or failures?
      • How much romantic passion and sensual desire do you/they naturally show?
    • Observe social style
      • How much character do you/they have (integrity, honesty, fairness)?
      • How capable are you/they for sensitivity and empathy?
      • How much do you/they need to control or be in control?
      • How much do you/they want to be around other people?
      • How much do you/they make personal time more important than intimate time?
      • How easily do you/they make compromises and adjust to circumstances that change?
    • Observe the prevailing mentality and thinking
      • How intelligent are you/they?
      • How much do you/they need details and are curious about new things?
      • How is your/their sense of humor?
      • How creative and artistically driven are you/they?
    • Look at physical lifestyle
      • How much energy in day-to-day life do you/they use? Do you/they enjoy physically challenging activities?
      • How much interest and enjoyment do you/they get out of the physical act of sex?
      • What is your/their attitude towards the general state of physical health?
      • What is your/their desire regarding safely and securely raising a family?
      • How efficient, productive and driven towards self-improvement are you/they?
      • How physically attractive do you/they feel?
    • You will need to observe current relationship skills
      • How well do you/they verbalize thoughts and feelings, ask questions and compare/contrast?
        • How interested are you/they in communicating?
        • How capable are you/they of communicating?
      • How capable are you/they at reducing damage from anger?
      • How capable are you/they in expressing all emotions honestly and constructively?
      • How well can you/they control mood and feelings?
      • What is your/their conflict management style?
        • How respectful are you/they of others in conflicts?
        • How well can you/they drop a resolved issue?
    • Values and beliefs are what guide us, and they should be looked at
      • How important is spiritual expression and beliefs to you/them?
      • How interested are you/they in parenting and raising children?
      • How traditional are you/they?
        • How important is morality and personal values to you/them?
        • How much do you/they want to be involved in church?
        • What religious beliefs do you/they have and how do they affect day-to-day life?
      • How ambitious and driven to personal success are you/they?
      • How much do you/they desire to give back to communities and apply morality to life?
    • Even with all of this, it still matters where we are coming from
      • How healthy a family did you/they come from and how do you/they see their overall health?
        • How close are you/they to family and how much involvement do they have in life?
      • How educated are you/they, and how much emphasis is given on its importance?
      • How much of their life are they willing to change to involve a new relationship into it?
      • How many past relationships did you/they have, how did they go, and why did they end?
      • What kinds of friends do you/they have? Are they healthy?
  • Your ideal mate will have most of the following characteristics:
    • Genuinely willing to change, even with multiple other red flags
    • Openly communicates without defensiveness or jumping to conclusions
    • Trustworthy and a proven record of loyalty
    • There’s a natural intimacy and sense of humor between the two of you
    • Emotionally stable
    • Stays true to their moral values, even if they’re different than yours
    • Encouraging and supportive of others’ success
    • Has at least some interests and hobbies in common with you
    • You both respect each other’s lives, life decisions and opinions on future plans
  • Watch for age differences
    • There’s usually nothing wrong with an age gap, except that it also comes with a maturity gap as well
    • The larger the age difference, the more cultural norms you’ll break and the more taboos you’ll risk crossing
    • A younger person is a mixture of good and bad
      • They will usually be more attractive, more easily impressed and will often have less bad experience in relationships
      • At the same time, they will be too dependent, demanding, inexperienced, unintelligent, boring and clearly not ready for some of life’s challenges
    • Older people are great to date, but it can create a power struggle if the woman is significantly older than the man

Follow some universal rules with anyone you’re interested in

  • You can only love them as much as you love yourself
    • If you can’t love yourself, you will share self-hatred with them
    • Nobody is perfect, and if you’re looking for perfection then you won’t accept someone who isn’t
  • You need to have fun with them
    • Make little things for them or show that you’re thinking of them
    • Spend time together with them
    • Enjoy yourself with them
  • Focus more on their needs, not yours
    • Think of the relationship as 60/40, not 50/50
    • Learn what their best interests are and try to fulfill them
  • Never stop working on the relationship
    • Treat the relationship as a responsibility or duty, not an experience or a game
    • If the relationship goes well, it will be a lifelong commitment, so you’ll dating them for the rest of your life
  • Set standards on how far you’ll go physically with them on each date
    • It’s not a question of IF you cross those boundaries, but what you do WHEN you cross them

Hunt around for possible dates

  • Learn the body language cues of physical attraction and interest
    • Universal
      • When meeting, eyebrows rise and then come back down
      • Eye contact is slightly longer than normal and more focused
        • An average of 8.2 seconds shows interest while 4.5 seconds is simply normal
      • Body language mirrors the other person’s behaviors
        • Test this by changing position and see if they follow
      • Body is facing the person more
      • Genuine smiles that crinkle the side of the face
        • Smiles when greeting should be .5 seconds, 1 second or longer is unsettling and .25 seconds or less is considered a lie
    • Men – any gesture that makes him appear larger
      • Slightly flared nostrils, lips sometimes slightly parted
      • Legs spread shoulder-width apart
      • Stretching, wide arm gestures
      • Chest is out, stomach is pulled in
      • Head tilted slightly to one side
      • Hands at sides or with thumbs tucked into pockets
      • Adjusting collars, sleeves, socks
      • Smoothing their hair
    • Women – any gesture that makes her appear more alluring
      • Generally much more subtle than men’s actions
      • Sits with one leg pressed on top of the other with a hand on the thigh
      • Exposes the skin of her neck and wrist more
      • Tosses hair, intimate gazing
  • Look everywhere in your day-to-day life for a good date
    • Network with family and friends
    • Pursue the things you enjoy
    • Join others who have the same need
    • Invite people to your home
    • Do something structured through a formal dating event or website
      • Increase your chances by having a great-looking photo of yourself with lots of personality
      • They’re dating you and not your friends, so don’t use group photos
      • Stay away from typical greetings like “hey, how are you?”
  • If you’re not meeting anyone interested in you, ask yourself why
    • Ask if you’re really exposing yourself to enough people
    • Ask if you’re doing something unattractive
    • Ask what you can change in yourself to be more attractive
    • Ask friends for their input on the matter

Walk into every date with the right mindset

  • Each date should be fun and exciting, and you should both want to spend time together
    • Sometimes a person can swing back and forth between interested and disinterested
      • This either means they are playing mind games or they don’t know what they want, which are both bad to be around
    • Any quirks that annoy you as you get to know them will only become more annoying
  • Walk into every relationship intentionally with a list of values you want in your date
    • Feelings can be manipulated, but guidelines can’t, and there are many simple tricks that will give feelings of attraction
      • People are more attracted to someone that looks like their opposite sex parent
      • Similarity in many different things makes people bond better
      • Being tall is generally physically attractive
      • Staring and making direct eye contact is attractive
      • Having a pet or playing a musical instrument is seen as attractive by most people
      • Smelling nice and the smell of body odor are both attractive in many contexts
      • Smiling is a naturally more attractive look
      • Wearing bright red is more attractive from drawing more attention
      • Sharing walking pace with someone will make them more attracted
      • Facial hair in men is often attractive to women
    • Contrary to stories, falling in love is a very bad reason for any romantic decision
      • To fall in love is to see the person as wholly, fully and completely perfect for you
      • By its nature, falling in love is unreasonable, close-minded and emotionally reckless
        • It is very hard to tell when you have fallen in love
        • The simplest way to find out is how much you actually listen to others’ well-reasoned criticism
      • In fact, simply believing in romance stories has been proven to make you have less success in relationships
    • Keep yourself sexually and physically pure
      • Though you might feel desperate, physical intimacy with strangers is never worth the emotional pain that comes after it
      • Even with a relationship that becomes a marriage based on sex, it will be a shaky foundation for a much heavier burden later
  • Date to learn, not for lifetime commitments
    • Be open to going out with people you normally may not see
    • Broadening your worldview while dating helps you find what you really want in a partner
    • If a date is jealous or possessive after the first few dates, this is a very bad sign
  • Don’t hold any expectations about them, especially from your past experience
    • Don’t expect them to make you happy
    • It can be hard, but measuring someone by a different person isn’t fair or reasonable

Instead of having a typical movie-and-dinner date, try something more fun

  • Note: If you’re already a fun and well-balanced person, you should be trying many of these by yourself anyway
  • If you want to be seen as fun, create memories of them with you in fun places
    • Try anything new to you or them
    • Go bowling with them or visit a golf driving range
    • Go target shooting with guns or archery
    • Rent motorcycles and bicycles
    • Go hang-gliding
    • Rent kayaks or a canoe
    • Hike in the woods or mountains
    • Play in the snow
    • Visit a museum, conservatory or zoo
    • Have a picnic
    • Roller or ice skating
    • Visit local festivals, concerts, art presentations or community events
    • Go yard sale or thrift store shopping
    • Take a college, dancing or art class together
    • Try wine tasting
    • Volunteer together
    • Go on a hot air balloon ride
  • Try completely bold ideas if you want an unconventional relationship
    • Go driving and flip a coin at every intersection to turn left or right
    • Write clues down on pieces of paper and hide them to make a treasure hunt with a gift at the end
    • Try geo-hashing together
  • Go to more intimate date settings if you want them to know you’re serious
    • Have a spa treatment and massage together
    • Go stargazing
    • Have a photo shoot together
    • Travel on a long-distance train
    • Go tour Christmas lights in your area
    • Go to the park and talk
  • Try something in your home to show you’re open and genuine
    • Make a home-cooked meal with romantic candles
    • Give a massage
    • Watch an old movie marathon
  • Try double dates to make things more fun

During the date, follow a few tricks for success

  • Be genuine with them during the date
    • Pretending to be someone you aren’t makes intimacy impossible
    • Differences are the most exciting and interesting part of dating, and are where most natural chemistry comes from
  • Observe how they behave in response to you
    • Focus less on what they say and more on what they do
    • Stare at their eyes for a few seconds longer than normal to see if they return the attraction
    • Share intimate details to see how they respond
  • Give them gifts to show your affection for them
    • Handwritten notes for them
    • Small craft-work or art pieces
    • Don’t give anything too expensive
      • Expensive gifts can make a person artificially more attracted to you, but won’t be interested after the gifts stop coming
  • Keep your priorities straight when following up with them
    • If they start disrespecting you get them out of your life, it will only get worse
    • Keep in contact with them on a regular basis if they’re worth it
    • Involve them with your friends and family to learn more about the date and to get good input from others

There are some dead-clear warning signs to drop them immediately

  • Their worldview is distorted
    • They try to control more than what they should
      • Manipulative behavior might be attractive, but it’s also harmful to you
      • Even if you pity their inability to control themselves, it doesn’t excuse that they are hurting those around them
      • If they don’t care if they’re hurting you, this will become a greater problem later
    • They are overly jealous
      • They are insecure, and this jealousy is a warning of much worse insecurities
      • This isn’t just in romantic relationships, it can also apply to jealousy about family bonds or friends with zero shared attraction
      • Often the easiest way to tell if they’re jealous is if they cut you off from someone else without talking it through with you
    • They are over-reliant on you for everything
      • This is often codependency, and you will become the other half of a destructive and overly enmeshed life
    • Their sense of gender identity is distorted
      • They are hypersensitive about themselves or their image
      • An insecure male identity holds to rigid roles without discussion, is extremely jealous and tries to control the situation
      • An insecure female identity deceives everyone, subverts authority and blames others very quickly
  • They’re using you
    • They are overly self-absorbed or try to undermine others around them
      • A relationship will inevitably lead to marriage, and a marriage is a team
      • Relationships can’t work when there’s competition between its members, especially considering how genders are extremely different
      • Teamwork requires promoting others, and a conceited person doesn’t believe in promoting others over themselves
    • They can’t admit that they are wrong or that they fail
      • They may think this is necessary for success, but it’s not
      • The situation might be over small things, but someday it will be over bigger ones
    • They love the concept of you and them more than they love you as a person
      • They are working to get their needs met through you, which is a form of abuse
  • Their personal life is a mess
    • They are miserable
      • If they’re not having fun when the time calls for it, they aren’t ready for a relationship
      • Looking into personal issues is good, but not in a happy environment
    • They have no personal goals or ambitions
      • We all need goals or we become stagnant and lazy
      • If they quickly start liking what you like, it’s clear they haven’t clarified what they like in themselves
      • This is a matter of motivation, and can only be resolved by their own decisions
      • Waiting for them to change their mind is not worth it, and breaking up with them might be necessary to inspire them to change
    • They are reckless with their money, resources or body
      • If they don’t respect themselves to take care of themselves or exercise restraint, they won’t respect your boundaries either
      • If they have no personal sense of wellness or balance, they’re going to try to rely on you to constantly be the stable one
      • Usually any recklessness or extremeness is a sign of addiction, which means they will always put their substance over your needs
    • They consistently compromise their moral values
      • If they don’t respect their own morals, they won’t respect yours
      • They might lie about many seemingly unimportant things or lie about big things
      • If there’s a history of cheating, they might be actively cheating on you
  • Their relationships with others aren’t very good
    • If they mistreat someone, they will likely mistreat you in the same way someday
      • Look at how they treat children, animals any anyone else who can’t protect themselves
      • If they have children, look at how they love them
    • They can’t be genuine and real with anyone
      • Though they might be fun to be around, they won’t stick around when life gets hard
      • An especially dangerous version is someone who is charming but also psychologically abusive
    • They don’t maintain any long-term friendships
      • A relationship is simply a more intimate friendship, which will hurt worse than a normal friendship
      • They will need someone to talk about life with when you start irritating them
      • If they can’t keep friendships, there’s a reason, and it’s always something that keeps showing up in them
    • They have bad relationships with their parents
      • If they mistreat their parents, they don’t respect authority and they won’t respect you
      • This is especially bad if they won’t cut unhealthy family connections
      • This can be circumvented if they have distanced themselves from the relationship, but be cautious
  • The relationship has to be a secret
    • If it needs to be protected from others knowing, ask why it needs to be
  • Your friends and parents are opposed to the relationship
    • You will lose all of them in the relationship, or you will lose the relationship
    • Sometimes this is applicable, but only if you come from a horrible upbringing
  • There is no attraction or one side doesn’t feel much attraction
    • Relationships need to have an attraction that is physical, emotional and natural
    • If there’s no attraction, then someone is using the relationship simply to get needs met
    • Sometimes they may be attracted, but their way of showing it might be too vastly different

The reason most people stay in bad relationships is to get needs met that should be met elsewhere

  • They don’t have the right support network of family or friends and think a relationship will answer their problems
  • They feel the need to help others, but haven’t found a proper outlet for it and use a relationship for those means
  • They’re afraid of being lonely, so they choose someone who will be a physical presence to keep them from getting lonely
  • They have deep problems from their upbringing and bring those unmet needs and unclarified expectations into their relationships

There’s no true timing that relationships should develop within

  • Some cultures believe that marriage should happen in months, while others believe in marrying after 3-5 years
    • It is tempting to give constant and immediate relationship updates to all of your friends, but that can make the situation more complicated
  • Many societies imply that a relationship is simply a testing ground for marriage, but that’s completely false
    • Later, there will be pressure to have children in the same way, and that peer pressure is often for selfish or senseless reasons
  • Your biological clock will probably tell you to hurry up
    • Don’t rush the relationship, it needs to naturally form
      • Don’t be afraid to still date around if you’re not in a relationship with them
      • A quickly formed relationship is more likely to be driven by feelings and desire instead of values and chemistry
      • If the other person is trying to rush the relationship, they may have control or codependency issues
    • Take the time to get to know their friends, values, family, faith and anything else you can learn about them
    • Learn to accept that a hopeful romantic relationship can sometimes only be a non-romantic friendship
  • It takes 2-4 years to fully get to know someone, but enough shared insight can lead you to a good marriage earlier

Going deeper into a relationship requires opening up and changing your views

  • Trust is the basis for everything
    • Like everyone else, you’re secretly a weird person
      • Open up to them slowly to see how they respond to your eccentricities
    • If you don’t let them in your life, they don’t have any reason to open up fully to you either
      • Ask how their day was
      • Take care of things they don’t like doing
      • Affirm what you think of them
    • A good start to trusting is to expose them to the routines that you have in your daily life
      • Go shopping with them
      • Run errands with them
      • Visit friends with them around
  • Treat them with respect and dignity by making them a priority
    • Greet them with a hug or kiss
    • Learn to actively listen to them
    • Make quality time part of the routine with them, even when you’re not officially on a date
    • Give them routine gifts and random demonstrations of your love
      • Men should give a gift approximately once per month, averaged out
    • Document your lives together
      • Take photos of each other
      • Save love letters and poems
      • Create memories together by going to memorable places
  • Communication is the number one secret to all relationship problems
    • Agree to speak up when things aren’t right
    • Consistently affirm your feelings for them
    • Discuss your financial goals and finances openly, even before you’re married
    • Learn to be transparent with each other by staying open and inspiring them to open up
    • Ask for advice consistently from them
    • Learn what the best timing is to bring up thoughts and important topics
  • Whatever your relationship with God is will have to be shared eventually by your partner
    • Only date within your religious views
    • If you believe in a different god or don’t believe in one, that will put a tremendous strain on your major life decisions
    • Even if you can work through it, having children will make this a severe issue
    • Pray consistently for them
  • Don’t compare your relationship to others
    • Everyone comes from a different background and they have problems you aren’t aware of
    • Even if everyone else is comparing themselves to your relationship, it’s a mark of success to not compare yours back
  • Don’t have sex before marriage
    • Sex requires compassion, commitment, intimate love and will connect you with someone else in a biologically permanent way
    • Sex has been proven to help people think less about their problems with each other, and prevents marital bickering
    • Doing it outside of marriage guarantees that the little annoyances aren’t dealt with
    • Bigger problems become more difficult later because of the lack of emotional closure that comes from doing it within marriage
  • Learn which of the Five Love Languages you both prefer
    • Everyone has 2-3 that they prefer to use
    • Not everyone gives and receives the same ones, though they tend to give ones they’d prefer to receive
      • Quality time together – without distractions or interruptions
      • Affirming statements – positive non-critical things about the person or what they do
      • Acts of service – things that improve quality of life for them
      • Physical touch – intentional and gentle contact with each other
      • Physical gifts – doesn’t have to be expensive, simply meaningful in intent
  • Honor their boundaries
    • Be emotionally supportive whenever you can
    • Comfort them about their fears even if you can’t identify with them
    • When they’re not around, behave as if they were
    • Pay attention to what irritates them and try to avoid doing it around them
    • Don’t try to do everything together, since it can foster codependency

Each gender has their own challenges to overcome with the other

  • Treat your partner as equal, but definitely different
    • Men and women are uniquely different in gender, and there is no way to get around it
      • Though there are many post-modern definitions about gender, this is referring to biological orientation
    • Men are always biologically wired toward a few tendencies
      • Focused on accomplishing and completing projects
      • Compartmentalized thinking with groups and categories for everything
      • Gets more stuff done than women
      • Makes decisions using the following guidelines
        1. Logically constructs possible options based on reasoning and experience
        2. Makes a guided decision based on the information
        3. Heads toward the goal until either new information is added, the situation changes or inescapable failure
    • Women are always biologically wired toward a few tendencies
      • Focused on beauty and aesthetic
      • Connected thinking with every thought stringing together to another thought
      • Smarter than men
      • Makes decisions using the following guidelines
        1. Logically constructs possible options based on feelings and experience
        2. Makes a guided decision based on the information
        3. Without provocation, revisits the idea later on to consider new options
    • As a result of these two genders, they work best with the men making the ultimate decisions and the women supporting them
      • This is a direct affront to feminism, where the women want the roles of men
      • Unfortunately, when the roles are reversed the situation never works out
        • The men aren’t smart enough to consider as many options or re-open past decisions
        • The women aren’t focused enough or determined enough to execute the plans
  • Men have to learn to be more involved emotionally
    • Values her for her beauty and for who she is
      • Opens the door for her
      • Calls her beautiful and many other nice things
      • Does little gestures of kindness for her
    • Simply listens, doesn’t try to fix everything she vents about
    • Gives at least two months’ notice before making any major life decision, including marriage proposal
    • Contributes to the relationship regularly
      • Unafraid of discussions about the relationship
      • Willingness to change bad behaviors
    • Shows a desire for closeness by opening up emotionally
      • Shows a sensitive and caring side, especially when upset
      • Restates affirmations without being prompted
      • Learns to value the context of the situation more than the content
    • Gives intimate time with eye contact regularly
    • Takes care of himself for her sake
    • Show physical, non-sexual affection
  • Women have to scale back their emotional intensity
    • Gives space and respects his need to sometimes be alone
    • Accepts him for who he is and not who she wants him to be
    • Openly shares concerns without expecting him to understand implications
    • Compliments and supports his decisions
      • Lets his decision be the final one, even if he’s clearly wrong
    • Avoids being easily offended or hurt by things he says and does
      • Understands that he’s driven by content much more than context

Learn to fight and disagree well with them

  1. Raise your issues early instead of over-thinking it
    • Come into it with the expectation that they want to resolve the conflict
    • If you hold a grudge against them, it will tempt them to do the same
  2. Make sure the timing of the disagreement is right
    • It should be in private, away from where it can involve others
    • Leave everyone else out of it
  3. Stay on the topic at hand
    • Conflicts are never a battle between you and them, it’s a battle against an issue
    • Be honest with your thoughts and feelings
      • Staying distant or closed off will motivate them to do the same
      • Being melodramatic about your feelings on the matter will make it harder for them to take you seriously
    • If you do get frustrated or angry at them, own up to your own feelings
      • Avoid walking out or putting up a wall
      • If it gets too emotional, ask to postpone the discussion or for some time to calm down
  4. Respect their views
    • Listen to them
    • Try to be correct instead of being right
      • Be really quick to admitting you are wrong, and try to find how you’re wrong in the situation
    • Make sure that both sides have the same definitions for words that are used
    • Apologize when you hurt them and forgive them when they hurt you
  5. Come to an agreement with a plan of action to apply the decision
    • Keep a record of what they’ve done right and improved on, not on what they’ve done wrongly

If you decide to drop the relationship, do it the right way

  • Make sure it’s for the right reasons
    • You don’t see a future with them
    • They feel more like they’re a burden to you than a benefit
    • Their lifestyle is changing in a different path than yours
  • Do it in person, since this needs openness to make it simpler
  • Don’t have another relationship for at least 12-18 months
    • It takes a lot of time to get over the brain’s chemical state
    • Multiple relationships significantly alters your brain’s wiring and increase the chances of unfaithfulness in the future

After you can make an informed decision that you want to spend forever with this person, get married

  • There are a few specific ways to decide on marrying someone
    • Passively let the other person decide whether it’s a good idea
    • Let feelings and sentiments determine whether it’s a good idea
      • Fear of being alone and never settling down
      • Love for someone and desire for what is mutually best for both of you
    • Go with gut instinct irrespective of logic and feelings
    • Think it through with analysis, consideration and weighing out the pros and cons
      • To be reasonable and in control of your life, this one is best
      • You have to make decisions with full understanding of the impact of the decision
        • Find out non-negotiable lines that will end the relationship for you
          • What they absolutely must value or believe for you to be happy
          • What they absolutely must do for you to be happy
          • What they absolutely must be for you to be happy
      • The best way to discover it is to consider the thoughts that lead to your gut instincts
  • There are a lot of good reasons to not marry
    • You’ve spent a long time with them and it feels like life would get easier
    • You see yourself in a friendship with them forever, even if you have major problems with them that aren’t going away
    • You
  • If you know with absolute certainty that you want to get married, there’s no real reason to hesitate
    • Marriage doesn’t cost as much as you might be afraid that it costs
Next: Homes 202: Marriage