How To Wish Merry Christmas Without Offending Anyone

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Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, the best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2014, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America a diverse country.

This is not implying that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only America in the Western Hemisphere. This is without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of their wishes. You, the reader, have identified these terms as valid and non-discriminatory.

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.