Dean, to the physics department:
“Why do I always have to give you guys so much money for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn’t you be like the math department – all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper.”
Seen on a restroom wall:
“God is dead: Nietzsche. Nietzsche is dead: God.”
The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.
The Second Law of Philosophy: They’re both wrong.
What is Mind? No Matter.
What is Body? Never Mind.